just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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