Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
