Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He did a backflip because drugs
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