god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
