Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
