i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
