Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
