We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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