And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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