you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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