I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
