the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
