Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
