No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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