He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
