my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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