do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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