how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
