great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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