I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
