During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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