when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize