apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize