I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
