I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize