apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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