So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
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