it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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