Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
