Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
