this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
