dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
