so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
