You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
