just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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