The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
