I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize