God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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