I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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