Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
