he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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