i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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