Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
