I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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