Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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