I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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