which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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