is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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