yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
