Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Even my vagina gasped.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
