idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
