definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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