worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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