Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There are leaves in my underwear?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
