His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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