i will never coherently bang her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
