Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
