Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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