this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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