I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
50% drunk capacity currently
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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