i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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