i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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