there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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