Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
