we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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